Temporary Home - which may be haunted

 this is the new cow rug that Dirk and Eden got me.... I absolutely love it!

 the bathtub (above) comes on all by itself in the middle of the nite (around 3-3:30 a.m.) and that's a bit "un-nerving" to say the least!


does anyone see anything odd in this picture to the left?  it wasn't there when I looked through the view finder

and let me just say that these stairs are straight down!  one mis-step and you are toast!

Okay, so here we are in beautiful Boerne, Texas, and I believe we have indeed found our humble abode :)  yeah!  hooray!  it's updated and special just as we prayed it would be.  God is soooo Good to me! 

Last nite we  were even envited to a small group bible study in a house that is in our new nieghorhood.  It felt awfully good to get all dolled up and go somewhere. 

I've even found a resale shop that is keeping an eye open for me for size 4 dresses and the one yesterday only cost me $7 (too good for words!)  it looks great. 

One more item of importance is that I'm fairly sure Dirk and I ended the drought in Texas!  Seriously!  The day we drove in it was a torrential downpour and last two days it has just rained and rained!  So very glad to do my part! :)

Remember folks - I'm sort of lonely but all of you are on my mind and in my heart for the rest of my life.

Peace be with you all - and try not to forget me ......

Sarahbeth

Our Status on the Move to Texas

Hey everyone who is reading this must be interested so, here goes....


As most of you know, Cessna decided to transfer Dirk to Texas and give us an opportunity to hopefully sell a lot more airplanes!  They agreed to move us and so we have successfully sold our home here in St. Louis (in 7 days!) due to an angel named, Gloria!   She helped me successfully "Stage" our home and BELIEVE me when I say it's the ONLY REASON that we sold this home this quickly!  We completely removed all of the clutter, there was not a spot or speck of dust anywhere - new paint - new bathrooms - new carpet - all worth it as we were very close to our asking price in just a few days and came out ahead.  PRAISE GOD!  


We have a hard move date of August 12th (packing begins) and we physically move on the 15th of August.  


Dirk and I just returned from a trip to the Hill Country next to San Antonio, Austin and we have decided to live in Boerne, Texas!  We have many reasons for this decision and feel like God worked so amazingly to show us that answer.  Yes, I found a house, but .... No, I don't know if it will work..... so..... it's possible that we could be in furnished executive housing for 3 months until Dirk and I can decide whether or not we can beat the $94.00 a square foot cost to buy old and build new..... see the issue?  So, of course, I'm asking for opinions here people... I don't waste time and, in a nutshell, it takes a lot of consideration.


We, as a family, are entertaining people.  Love it more than life itself to have a full house and busy bees running to and fro...... I will always be that way as will Dirk.  So, it makes sense to us to buy a property that we know grandkiddos would want to visit one day.  It's all about the grandkids when you are so close to becoming "empty nesters".... hahahaha!  Believe me - it won't be but a snap of my finger and another 14 years will have gone by and I will want that house for my growing family.   But, my dad has always said "it's so much easier on everyone to live slightly within your means than it is by far to live slightly outside your means".....   truth!  I don't want us to get "debted up" and I, at the same time, want to invest very wisely in this real estate transaction because owning land in Texas where we are intending to own can be a real big value over time for our children's inheritance one day.  


The Boerne decision came through a contact we made in real estate.  Once he heard Eden's story, he was impressed enough to assure me that he lived in the same neighborhood as the Superintendant of the school district as well as worshipped with the Board members and he promised me that she would get fair representation regarding being allowed to join up with her school's competitive varsity cheer team.  Remember friends, they KILL MOM's in Texas for attempting to do what we are going to try to do for my sweet little honey bee!  She should not be penalized in this situation - if it means that she could begin to lose her eyesight again.    The doctors at Mayo told us that the longer Eden stays at her current level of activity she will continue to keep whatever was causing her to lose her  vision at bay!  We all know that to simply "replace" her current activity on her own or me trying to get her motivated to jump up and down for hours a day screaming and flipping all over kingdom come would be futile to say the least :)  so I really need to help her cause Eden deserves and  needs the loving and compassionate understanding that she gives to others on this.  Okay - off of my soapbox!


Thanks for your interest and advice - I value, more than gold - both our friendships and your loving opinions.  


We are always excited Dirk and I to be taking a little risk in our lives and grabbing a hold of opportunity as it presents itself.  We have been married now 28 years and have learned that our personal situations have ALWAYS improved when we have "stepped outside of our comfort zone".  I hope this blesses you.  I love you.  

I'm 50! Now What?

I'm 50!  Now What?.......

The time has flown by.... at times.  With all that is presently going on, it's almost too much to acknowledge that I will be 50 years old tomorrow.  No fan fair - just a quiet dinner, with Chef John and the Entre Underground gang.  Chef John has graciously offered to let JD assist him for this dinner so that JD can say he cooked my dinner :)  isn't that nice?  I thought so.  There will also be about 60 0ther people enjoying this dinner, so let's hope he can actually do it :)  I know he can - JD really has a great palate and imagination to make a fantastic chef.  Who knows? This may lead to a career for JD in the art of cuisine.  That would be a terrific birthday after all.  As for a birthday wish - it is as follows:

I wish that our house will sell within a month so that Dirk will be happy.  I wish that we can find a suitable home to buy and retire in somewhere in Texas near San Antonio.  I wish that we can reconnect with many friends we had to leave behind 30 years ago.  I can't imagine how wonderful it would/could be to reconnect with all of these couples that Dirk and I started our life together with.  Michelle and Peter, Betty and Marshall, Mike and Mignon, Tyler and Anne Greenfield, Tom and Miranda Darr, Robert and Denise Fletcher, etc..... that would be so cool - to be able to sit around our pool (I want a pool real bad :) and bring us all up to date on the last 30 years - including the raising of our children.  

What is "Security"?

"But the deeper meaning lies in the wise recognition that the usual ideas about security and success are only misleading and stale promises, which do not give us the key to true satisfaction and contentment."

  This statement was one that I found myself pondering today (Saturday, June 23rd)  don't you find this a profound statement? I finally came to this conclusion, on my own when I had to begin to sell items that held a lot of meaning.   Because we need the money to go forward in life.  Those items that I thought "held" my security (material value) I learned once sacrificed became all the more valuable to me in the closeness I felt with God.  i wouldn't trade that feeling for 10 houses!  My security lies within my love for the Lord!

My house is still not on the market for sale and I have to 1) find another home in Texas and 2) qualify for a loan for a house in Texas 3) sell this house to qualify for a loan for a house in Texas.... etc..... you get the picture.  Apparently, there are 3 real estate agents fighting for the listing and on and on goes the wheel..... it's both a blessing (the relo company) and a bit of a "situation" thus far, we'll see how it all plays out - :)  

Eden leaves for cheer camp tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m. ( cheerleaders always get up a dawn and it's always been that way) I don't know how it is that some things never change.  So far, she has been able to stay a Marquette Varsity Competition Cheerleader for as long as we are here.  They didn't immediately replace her, which is so great!  She loves it so much and I am putting it in God's hands as to how to help her acquire a spot on her school squad in Texas as that would make her very happy.  Only, they kill mothers of kids who try and get onto squads in Texas, don't they?!  :)  That may be a problem.......

J.D. is super anxious to get enrolled into college in San Antonio or Austin (hasn't decided on U.T. or UT.S.A.) and I know he'll make a ton of friends in no time at all.  Hopefully, we can get him into a situation that will allow him to experience the freedom and excitement of living on his own while still with a room mate of some kind be it dorm or apartment.

Higgins is very old and fragile.  I'm trying to get my arms around that and how to get him comfortably to Texas.  Dirk said someone here would sedate him and crate him and he would wake up in San Antonio with me cooing his name...... sounds a little too perfect to me - how bout you?  I really can't imagine him up in some "attic" of an airliner without heating and freezing and scared of the noise which is absolutely terrible in my imagination...... he is deaf though, which may be a good thing.......

just got the word that the house goes officially on the market on Sunday at our 1st open house.  So!  Boom goes the cannon and 'WE'RE OFF!'

Life After.....

Eden and Dirk at the Father/Daughter  Dance in March 2012

Life After.......

I've had mixed reviews about my appearance on Oprah's show.  Most of my friends are concerned about T.D. Jakes and some are concerned about Oprah.  Let me expound on both, if you will allow me.  I had heard many things about Bishop T.D. Jakes from Dirk,  and primarily Dirk's big objection was of whether or not Bishop Jakes denies the Trinity and that he seems to be a  bit of a health/wealth/prosperity preacher.  I had no prior knowledge of Bishop Jakes other than a passing comment from Dirk now and again, rarely! 

As people are extremely vocal when it comes to anyone who regularly steps out into the public arena, I now know how some people are feeling as it pertains to Oprah Winfrey as well.  Seems that since she was "called" into the "mission field" of America, she has got a whole bunch of enemies out there.  I can't help but wonder why no one else sees what is obviously going on.  Oprah spoke to the audience and said that "I've lost a whole lot of money" (100,000,000) and "I'll only quit when God tells me to quit".  Both statements are painful statements.  I, for one, have benefited greatly from watching the Oprah shows and others that have come into fruition due to Oprah's influence.  It is what got me up off of the sofa in the first place, to try and be like one of the ladies on the Oprah show.  I know, ya'll are going....."OMG!  She is bringing it all up again!"  only, I HAVE TO BRING IT ;UP AS I, LITERALLY FOUND MY PURPOSE ON THE OPRAH SHOW WITH T.D. JAKES CALLED....... wait for it......... wait for it......... FINDING YOUR PURPOSE!    How could I possibly not love these people, T.D. Jakes and Oprah Winfrey, for helping me to get over a bunch of junk that was holding me back from being the vibrant, energetic, funny, spirited individual woman that I was intended to be.  I feel a lot better once it was explained to me that i could view all of the negative stuff in my past (start pulling an imaginary arrow back in your imaginary bow) and if you picture all of the ;negative stuff as the BACK ENERGY used in pulling your arrow back then once all of that pressure builds up...and you clearly  define where you want to go or what direction you wish to head then .......BOUNDLESS ENERGY WILL PROPELL THAT ARROW ANY DIRECTION YOU POINT THE BOW!   It literally felt as if all of the bad was worth it in one single moment!  It may seem easy to you, but, it took me 50 years to learn it in a single little show with 2 very astute and relative teachers, Oprah Winfrey and T.D. Jakes.   It all just happened to me and how in the world can I or anyone else not acknowledge that there must have been a "director" or "creator" involved because no body but God to make all of that happen in perfect sequence and bring it to a total resolution!  I was truly touched by this experience and I hope in hearing about it you may know that God cares as much for you - just give Him the opportunity to show you His glory!

My 15 Minutes of Fame were Extremely Fullfilling Minutes! :)

Im not sure any of you can imagine how blown my mind was on Friday when I got a personal phone call from a girl at Harpo Studios asking me if I was gonna be at the show on Monday (yesterday),  but, nothing has ever surprised me more.  So, I have to tell you how that minute came about.

I have become, sort of, a Phoenix, if you will.  Seriously, me!  Anyway, just about everything a person could do wrong with regard to health and wellness I have and it had taken me to the place of being on my rear end - on the sofa, eating and miserable about everything.   But, anyone who really  knows me -  knows that I have only had one purpose that I've taken very seriously and that is my children's happiness and well being.  I always wonder what kind of Mother my kids will say that they have had.  Any one of you ladies reading this, knows that motherhood is really the ultimate stage, right?!  You just can't really "exit" it when you'd like to.  You are on stage 24 hours a day and everything you do and say is recorded in the minds of those youngsters at your feet.  It has always been my purpose to be a better mother than I had, and I wanted to see if it could "even"  be done.  I felt like I had enough examples of good mothers around me in society that I could simply " keep" what I felt like was valuable and "throw out"  the stuff that I was being shown at home, which, at times, I didn't think were valuable or keepable.  I'm definitely proof that holding on to and harboring those seriously negative feelings inside of yourself can kill you if you let it take hold.   I tried to medicate that pain and, of course, that made me a "horrible" mother!  So, I had to conquer that one and have.    Anyway, all of that to say, my kids have seen a huge change on many levels in my life that they simply can't believe!  Neither can I!   Along the way, though, I learned a ton about mothering......and how important it is to have supportive people to help raise your little ones.  After all, you aren't ALWAYS doing GREAT!  We women need to compare notes on this stuff at my age and write it all down.  I intend to......

One day I tried to make it to a small bible study group and got lost on my motorcycle and came home, embarrassed.  The next day the hostess got on Facebook and offered up a free bread machine.  Long story short, I agreed to pick up the bread machine in the rain in a parking lot at 7:30 a.m. one morning and I found myself in a group of women and they wanted me to sit down and tell them who I was.  Seriously, you have to picture me here........ I'd recently broken my foot - 3 day old hair - no makeup and had just fought with JD about something on the way to school so I wasn't in any mood to meet anyone!  I found that God doesn't care about how we look!  So, I'm just saying.  Any women out there - put your makeup on before you leave the house!  Anyway - this group of women was a foundational group of women building a charity.  It's called Women's Impact Networking - Embracing Your Dreams.  The charity is about women helping out other women in need.  Basically, on a foundational level - motherhood.  We all didn't come from great upbringings but that doesn't mean that we can't be fantastic mothers!  I'm a good mom now .... and I'll never regret the pathway that led me inside of the Oprah world yesterday, but I seriously FOUND MY PURPOSE!  I will be writing a book about giving Tribal Knowledge to young mothers about motherhood.  God called me to that show yesterday to help "encourage" a young mother who has found herself in what she felt was an impossible situation yesterday.  I can shout from the rooftops that it's not impossible for her to become the greatest mother who ever lived!  She wants it - you'll have to see the show.  It's on April 9th.  

Come to find out ....yesterday, upon arriving and seeing 6,000 other women ....all in the same boat .....(I thought) as me......... I arrived later than I wanted to and there was an ocean of women in line that stretched like, around the SAVIS Center and they were ALL getting to this HUGE auditorium and ALL thinking that they would be the one to get to talk to Oprah!  I didn't believe it was actually gonna happen and then, my friend, Gloria (from the women's group) came up to me and asked me to come with her and she passed me on to a lady with a huge contraption on her head - microphone and she had a guy with a camera following her  - and as I followed, I see signs on chairs (UP FRONT) with MY name and Dirk's  on them.    Then, I think, a show producer, came and asked me if I thought that I could really talk easily on "air" and once that poor women got my entire answer which covered the better highlights of my life :)  OMG!  Can't even begin to tell you how fast my heart was pounding!  Now I need to stop in this moment and tell everyone....... Dirk didn't take me seriously when I told him I was gonna get on the Oprah show.   His face was the color of EGGSHELL and he looked shocked pretty much the entire 2 hours we were there!  I am so freaking happy that it actually DID happen because Dirk won't doubt me next time :)  hahahahaha!  So, the lady next to me says "when Oprah winks and come toward you, that is what she is gonna ask you about...... "  I was like, "can you tell me what her question will be?", and she said, "No, it's OPRAH WINFREY and she does what she wants to do!" laughing  hahahahaha!  and THAT, I found, she DOES!  She was talking to this mother and the room was pretty much, gonna jump on or begin to attack physically (!) this mother who was sitting in front of me by a couple of rows.......  They had done a back story on this woman, Keesha and her son, Isaiah who was about 8, I think.  Well, Keesha adopted Isaiah and she just couldn't "love" him.  She even mentioned that she had trouble "hugging" Isaiah so, at that point, Oprah, turns to the audience and she says something like, "I know what ya'll are thinking (yep, one of those moments :) and the whole audience erupts in emotion about just wanting Isaiah to get HUGGED for pete's sake, right?!  Anyway,  Oprah walks right up to me and holds my hand and  says something like, Do you have something or anything to say to her?    In that moment, the only thing I knew to do was ENCOURAGE this precious lady who just bared her soul to the GLOBE!  and, in that moment , try and help and explain that just because she didn't have a good mother, it didn't mean she had to be a bad mother.  I don't remember it all, it was very surreal - 

so the commercial break came and I was talking to Keesha (off air) and explaining to her that I would love it if she could put Isaiah onto her lap and swing up and back, and up and back with him - laughing and squealing - just experiencing any kind of thrill - be it big or small.  I have found that when you experience anything thrilling with a person it bonds you - magically!  I told her to ride roller coasters together and just "experience" life together and even with him on her lap for a while..... as I know, from watching nature.... that it works!  She may not have birthed Isaiah - but she can EVEN learn to feel him in her womb as his "mother" who cradles him!  She only needed to hear that sort of practical advice.  She only needed to hear that sort of "tribal knowledge" that one woman can pass on to another woman.  I found my purpose at that show, ya'll!  I can't even believe it!  It was so simple really.  To help young mothers to "mother" better, you can change the World, right?! 

I'd like to tell you that when Oprah took my hand, I felt warm and calm and powerful.   I had a peace within that I cannot explain.  I even kept myself from crying in that moment and everyone who knows me knows that just never happens!  I am blown away that this group of women that I met by chance, helped me to accomplish something I couldn't have ever done on my own.  

That is another enormous thing and message that I have from all of this.   Get involved in community service.  You cannot believe how it can change your life and in a huge way.  I've told people lately that it's been more like "tracking big foot tracks in the snow" stuff over here instead of "seeing faint footprints in the sand"!  Praise God and thank you Womens Impact Networking - Embracing Your Dreams!  ladies - you actually did get me on Oprah!  Wow!   

Bio for Women's Group Im in....

Bio for talk at Women's Impact Networking Meeting:

My name is Sarah(beth) Vander Zee and I am about to be 50 years old.  I am a wife and mother of two teenagers and have been married for 28 years to the same wonderful guy!  His name is Dirk, and he sells jet airplanes.  I only tell you that because it's important to know that we all enjoy flying above and beyond all other hobbies!  I met Dirk on a blind date and he, of course, took me flying!  He had me at "Hello"!  I was asked by Gloria to talk to you all today, and tell you a little about my journey of weight gain and weight loss.  Here ya go.... In 2000, I was busy being a wife, mother and active person when I went in for a minor little surgery to take care of a bothersome sports injury.  Subsquently, I contracted Anti-biotic Resistant Staph and nearly lost my life and my leg. I was in the hospital for about a month and in a wing completely alone while Dirk traveled and my mother kept my children's needs met.  Basically, I was alone in the fight for my life all except for God.  After 9 surgeries, I ended up with 4 inches of my Achielles tendon removed from my left ankle.  It is extremely painful to hurt this area - the Bible even speaks of how vulnerable a person becomes once wounded in the Achielles tendon.  So true!  I was really just sent home from the hospital to die.  But, I didn't!  I was put on so many medicines that one would be amazed my veins are still in tact.  The amount of pain medicine, muscle relaxers, anti-depressants, xanax like pills and sleeping aids are just a beginning to the life of sedation that took over my world.  Of course, I gained and gained weight.  I was having so much trouble just trying to figure out what to do or if I even thought I was WORTH all of the fight to just make it through the day.  I think that's the big one.  I wasn't raised with parents who "fawned" over my "self-esteem" to put it mildly.  And, when I was in this fight for my life, I certainly needed to believe I was worth the freaking fight!  ya know?!  That's where God came in.  He showed me in His word that I mattered to Him.    I learned the hard way that, we have to take care of our own self-esteem issues one day and it really can't be when you are ALONE and DOWN AND OUT to do it!  But since that was my situation, I did the best thing that I could do,  and that was stop the madness.  I knew that my body didn't even reflect who I was anymore on the outside and that was a HUGE problem every single time I looked into a mirror!  The loving, caring, happy, energetic, positive, playful woman that I am was lost inside of this MORBIDLY OBESE, sad, crying, mopey, dopey, self-centered, self-absorpted thing that I wanted to kill.  (and everyone else probably did too)  The only way I knew to kill that horrible thing on the couch in my basement was to PUT THE FORK DOWN! and take control one damned day at a time.  When the weight began to come off, it was like opening the door in the Springtime and letting the sun come on in - GIRLS!  I finally began to be grateful again for the opportunity to have a 'DO-OVER'!  I have lost 130 pounds and feel 20  years younger.  The less I weigh now the less medicine I have to take.  I went from something like 12 medicines to 3 now!  Praise God!  Seriously!  I found that if your "ship" is in rough waters, and things are flying off of the shelves all around you (emotionally) then do something to get into calmer waters...... CHANGE SOMETHING ..... one day at a time.... one thing at a time.... and you, too, can throw open the doors and windows and let the light and fresh air come on in, honey! As a result of losing the weight and gaining my self-esteem back, I became much more interested in other people.  I began to seek meetings of people so that I could get somehow plugged into the community around me.  As a matter of fact, I didn't vote for Mr. Obama but one thing that I gained from having him as our President is that he asked me to get into community service.  I found myself in a parking lot with it pouring rain all around me without any makeup on and i think I was even rocking 3 day old hair and a recently broken foot - trying to pick up a bread machine that a lady offered up on facebook.  From that one little, tiny commitment I ended up in a meeting of women that have the sole desire of helping young women who have pressing issues that they need help with.   It was a match made in Heaven (literally!) as I instantly connected with these amazing ladies!  They began to explain that this group of women is in the beginning stages of building a charity organization that simply mentors young ladies on all levels.  Of course I was interested in this group just so that I could help out women in need but, what also came from my joining this group is a feeling of being plugged into my community and also it has gotten the attention of my teenagers.  Not an easy feet, believe me!  To impress any teenager is hard these days as a 50 year old, but my children are just as proud as they can be to have their mom focusing on others in such a positive and meaningful way.   So, there you have it.  My story in a nutshell.  Only, I am and always will be a "nut" who has learned how to rock her "shell"! I'm just saying! I hope and pray that any of this incites you to act either on your own behalf or someone that you love.