My name is Sarah(beth) Vander Zee and I am about to be 50 years old. I am a wife and mother of two teenagers and have been married for 28 years to the same wonderful guy! His name is Dirk, and he sells jet airplanes. I only tell you that because it's important to know that we all enjoy flying above and beyond all other hobbies! I met Dirk on a blind date and he, of course, took me flying! He had me at "Hello"! I was asked by Gloria to talk to you all today, and tell you a little about my journey of weight gain and weight loss. Here ya go....
In 2000, I was busy being a wife, mother and active person when I went in for a minor little surgery to take care of a bothersome sports injury. Subsquently, I contracted Anti-biotic Resistant Staph and nearly lost my life and my leg. I was in the hospital for about a month and in a wing completely alone while Dirk traveled and my mother kept my children's needs met. Basically, I was alone in the fight for my life all except for God. After 9 surgeries, I ended up with 4 inches of my Achielles tendon removed from my left ankle. It is extremely painful to hurt this area - the Bible even speaks of how vulnerable a person becomes once wounded in the Achielles tendon. So true! I was really just sent home from the hospital to die. But, I didn't! I was put on so many medicines that one would be amazed my veins are still in tact. The amount of pain medicine, muscle relaxers, anti-depressants, xanax like pills and sleeping aids are just a beginning to the life of sedation that took over my world. Of course, I gained and gained weight. I was having so much trouble just trying to figure out what to do or if I even thought I was WORTH all of the fight to just make it through the day. I think that's the big one. I wasn't raised with parents who "fawned" over my "self-esteem" to put it mildly. And, when I was in this fight for my life, I certainly needed to believe I was worth the freaking fight! ya know?! That's where God came in. He showed me in His word that I mattered to Him.
I learned the hard way that, we have to take care of our own self-esteem issues one day and it really can't be when you are ALONE and DOWN AND OUT to do it! But since that was my situation, I did the best thing that I could do, and that was stop the madness. I knew that my body didn't even reflect who I was anymore on the outside and that was a HUGE problem every single time I looked into a mirror! The loving, caring, happy, energetic, positive, playful woman that I am was lost inside of this MORBIDLY OBESE, sad, crying, mopey, dopey, self-centered, self-absorpted thing that I wanted to kill. (and everyone else probably did too) The only way I knew to kill that horrible thing on the couch in my basement was to PUT THE FORK DOWN! and take control one damned day at a time. When the weight began to come off, it was like opening the door in the Springtime and letting the sun come on in - GIRLS! I finally began to be grateful again for the opportunity to have a 'DO-OVER'! I have lost 130 pounds and feel 20 years younger. The less I weigh now the less medicine I have to take. I went from something like 12 medicines to 3 now! Praise God! Seriously! I found that if your "ship" is in rough waters, and things are flying off of the shelves all around you (emotionally) then do something to get into calmer waters...... CHANGE SOMETHING ..... one day at a time.... one thing at a time.... and you, too, can throw open the doors and windows and let the light and fresh air come on in, honey!
As a result of losing the weight and gaining my self-esteem back, I became much more interested in other people. I began to seek meetings of people so that I could get somehow plugged into the community around me. As a matter of fact, I didn't vote for Mr. Obama but one thing that I gained from having him as our President is that he asked me to get into community service. I found myself in a parking lot with it pouring rain all around me without any makeup on and i think I was even rocking 3 day old hair and a recently broken foot - trying to pick up a bread machine that a lady offered up on facebook. From that one little, tiny commitment I ended up in a meeting of women that have the sole desire of helping young women who have pressing issues that they need help with. It was a match made in Heaven (literally!) as I instantly connected with these amazing ladies! They began to explain that this group of women is in the beginning stages of building a charity organization that simply mentors young ladies on all levels. Of course I was interested in this group just so that I could help out women in need but, what also came from my joining this group is a feeling of being plugged into my community and also it has gotten the attention of my teenagers. Not an easy feet, believe me! To impress any teenager is hard these days as a 50 year old, but my children are just as proud as they can be to have their mom focusing on others in such a positive and meaningful way.
So, there you have it. My story in a nutshell. Only, I am and always will be a "nut" who has learned how to rock her "shell"!
I'm just saying!
I hope and pray that any of this incites you to act either on your own behalf or someone that you love.
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