Life After.....

Eden and Dirk at the Father/Daughter  Dance in March 2012

Life After.......

I've had mixed reviews about my appearance on Oprah's show.  Most of my friends are concerned about T.D. Jakes and some are concerned about Oprah.  Let me expound on both, if you will allow me.  I had heard many things about Bishop T.D. Jakes from Dirk,  and primarily Dirk's big objection was of whether or not Bishop Jakes denies the Trinity and that he seems to be a  bit of a health/wealth/prosperity preacher.  I had no prior knowledge of Bishop Jakes other than a passing comment from Dirk now and again, rarely! 

As people are extremely vocal when it comes to anyone who regularly steps out into the public arena, I now know how some people are feeling as it pertains to Oprah Winfrey as well.  Seems that since she was "called" into the "mission field" of America, she has got a whole bunch of enemies out there.  I can't help but wonder why no one else sees what is obviously going on.  Oprah spoke to the audience and said that "I've lost a whole lot of money" (100,000,000) and "I'll only quit when God tells me to quit".  Both statements are painful statements.  I, for one, have benefited greatly from watching the Oprah shows and others that have come into fruition due to Oprah's influence.  It is what got me up off of the sofa in the first place, to try and be like one of the ladies on the Oprah show.  I know, ya'll are going....."OMG!  She is bringing it all up again!"  only, I HAVE TO BRING IT ;UP AS I, LITERALLY FOUND MY PURPOSE ON THE OPRAH SHOW WITH T.D. JAKES CALLED....... wait for it......... wait for it......... FINDING YOUR PURPOSE!    How could I possibly not love these people, T.D. Jakes and Oprah Winfrey, for helping me to get over a bunch of junk that was holding me back from being the vibrant, energetic, funny, spirited individual woman that I was intended to be.  I feel a lot better once it was explained to me that i could view all of the negative stuff in my past (start pulling an imaginary arrow back in your imaginary bow) and if you picture all of the ;negative stuff as the BACK ENERGY used in pulling your arrow back then once all of that pressure builds up...and you clearly  define where you want to go or what direction you wish to head then .......BOUNDLESS ENERGY WILL PROPELL THAT ARROW ANY DIRECTION YOU POINT THE BOW!   It literally felt as if all of the bad was worth it in one single moment!  It may seem easy to you, but, it took me 50 years to learn it in a single little show with 2 very astute and relative teachers, Oprah Winfrey and T.D. Jakes.   It all just happened to me and how in the world can I or anyone else not acknowledge that there must have been a "director" or "creator" involved because no body but God to make all of that happen in perfect sequence and bring it to a total resolution!  I was truly touched by this experience and I hope in hearing about it you may know that God cares as much for you - just give Him the opportunity to show you His glory!

My 15 Minutes of Fame were Extremely Fullfilling Minutes! :)

Im not sure any of you can imagine how blown my mind was on Friday when I got a personal phone call from a girl at Harpo Studios asking me if I was gonna be at the show on Monday (yesterday),  but, nothing has ever surprised me more.  So, I have to tell you how that minute came about.

I have become, sort of, a Phoenix, if you will.  Seriously, me!  Anyway, just about everything a person could do wrong with regard to health and wellness I have and it had taken me to the place of being on my rear end - on the sofa, eating and miserable about everything.   But, anyone who really  knows me -  knows that I have only had one purpose that I've taken very seriously and that is my children's happiness and well being.  I always wonder what kind of Mother my kids will say that they have had.  Any one of you ladies reading this, knows that motherhood is really the ultimate stage, right?!  You just can't really "exit" it when you'd like to.  You are on stage 24 hours a day and everything you do and say is recorded in the minds of those youngsters at your feet.  It has always been my purpose to be a better mother than I had, and I wanted to see if it could "even"  be done.  I felt like I had enough examples of good mothers around me in society that I could simply " keep" what I felt like was valuable and "throw out"  the stuff that I was being shown at home, which, at times, I didn't think were valuable or keepable.  I'm definitely proof that holding on to and harboring those seriously negative feelings inside of yourself can kill you if you let it take hold.   I tried to medicate that pain and, of course, that made me a "horrible" mother!  So, I had to conquer that one and have.    Anyway, all of that to say, my kids have seen a huge change on many levels in my life that they simply can't believe!  Neither can I!   Along the way, though, I learned a ton about mothering......and how important it is to have supportive people to help raise your little ones.  After all, you aren't ALWAYS doing GREAT!  We women need to compare notes on this stuff at my age and write it all down.  I intend to......

One day I tried to make it to a small bible study group and got lost on my motorcycle and came home, embarrassed.  The next day the hostess got on Facebook and offered up a free bread machine.  Long story short, I agreed to pick up the bread machine in the rain in a parking lot at 7:30 a.m. one morning and I found myself in a group of women and they wanted me to sit down and tell them who I was.  Seriously, you have to picture me here........ I'd recently broken my foot - 3 day old hair - no makeup and had just fought with JD about something on the way to school so I wasn't in any mood to meet anyone!  I found that God doesn't care about how we look!  So, I'm just saying.  Any women out there - put your makeup on before you leave the house!  Anyway - this group of women was a foundational group of women building a charity.  It's called Women's Impact Networking - Embracing Your Dreams.  The charity is about women helping out other women in need.  Basically, on a foundational level - motherhood.  We all didn't come from great upbringings but that doesn't mean that we can't be fantastic mothers!  I'm a good mom now .... and I'll never regret the pathway that led me inside of the Oprah world yesterday, but I seriously FOUND MY PURPOSE!  I will be writing a book about giving Tribal Knowledge to young mothers about motherhood.  God called me to that show yesterday to help "encourage" a young mother who has found herself in what she felt was an impossible situation yesterday.  I can shout from the rooftops that it's not impossible for her to become the greatest mother who ever lived!  She wants it - you'll have to see the show.  It's on April 9th.  

Come to find out ....yesterday, upon arriving and seeing 6,000 other women ....all in the same boat .....(I thought) as me......... I arrived later than I wanted to and there was an ocean of women in line that stretched like, around the SAVIS Center and they were ALL getting to this HUGE auditorium and ALL thinking that they would be the one to get to talk to Oprah!  I didn't believe it was actually gonna happen and then, my friend, Gloria (from the women's group) came up to me and asked me to come with her and she passed me on to a lady with a huge contraption on her head - microphone and she had a guy with a camera following her  - and as I followed, I see signs on chairs (UP FRONT) with MY name and Dirk's  on them.    Then, I think, a show producer, came and asked me if I thought that I could really talk easily on "air" and once that poor women got my entire answer which covered the better highlights of my life :)  OMG!  Can't even begin to tell you how fast my heart was pounding!  Now I need to stop in this moment and tell everyone....... Dirk didn't take me seriously when I told him I was gonna get on the Oprah show.   His face was the color of EGGSHELL and he looked shocked pretty much the entire 2 hours we were there!  I am so freaking happy that it actually DID happen because Dirk won't doubt me next time :)  hahahahaha!  So, the lady next to me says "when Oprah winks and come toward you, that is what she is gonna ask you about...... "  I was like, "can you tell me what her question will be?", and she said, "No, it's OPRAH WINFREY and she does what she wants to do!" laughing  hahahahaha!  and THAT, I found, she DOES!  She was talking to this mother and the room was pretty much, gonna jump on or begin to attack physically (!) this mother who was sitting in front of me by a couple of rows.......  They had done a back story on this woman, Keesha and her son, Isaiah who was about 8, I think.  Well, Keesha adopted Isaiah and she just couldn't "love" him.  She even mentioned that she had trouble "hugging" Isaiah so, at that point, Oprah, turns to the audience and she says something like, "I know what ya'll are thinking (yep, one of those moments :) and the whole audience erupts in emotion about just wanting Isaiah to get HUGGED for pete's sake, right?!  Anyway,  Oprah walks right up to me and holds my hand and  says something like, Do you have something or anything to say to her?    In that moment, the only thing I knew to do was ENCOURAGE this precious lady who just bared her soul to the GLOBE!  and, in that moment , try and help and explain that just because she didn't have a good mother, it didn't mean she had to be a bad mother.  I don't remember it all, it was very surreal - 

so the commercial break came and I was talking to Keesha (off air) and explaining to her that I would love it if she could put Isaiah onto her lap and swing up and back, and up and back with him - laughing and squealing - just experiencing any kind of thrill - be it big or small.  I have found that when you experience anything thrilling with a person it bonds you - magically!  I told her to ride roller coasters together and just "experience" life together and even with him on her lap for a while..... as I know, from watching nature.... that it works!  She may not have birthed Isaiah - but she can EVEN learn to feel him in her womb as his "mother" who cradles him!  She only needed to hear that sort of practical advice.  She only needed to hear that sort of "tribal knowledge" that one woman can pass on to another woman.  I found my purpose at that show, ya'll!  I can't even believe it!  It was so simple really.  To help young mothers to "mother" better, you can change the World, right?! 

I'd like to tell you that when Oprah took my hand, I felt warm and calm and powerful.   I had a peace within that I cannot explain.  I even kept myself from crying in that moment and everyone who knows me knows that just never happens!  I am blown away that this group of women that I met by chance, helped me to accomplish something I couldn't have ever done on my own.  

That is another enormous thing and message that I have from all of this.   Get involved in community service.  You cannot believe how it can change your life and in a huge way.  I've told people lately that it's been more like "tracking big foot tracks in the snow" stuff over here instead of "seeing faint footprints in the sand"!  Praise God and thank you Womens Impact Networking - Embracing Your Dreams!  ladies - you actually did get me on Oprah!  Wow!